


The What If’s That Haunt Us

by MoxFirefly



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Bay Movies), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Mentions of Blood, NSFW, Porn with some plot, Smut, Submissive Male, Tmnt bayverse, Violence, mentions of assault, monster/human, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:34:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27052024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoxFirefly/pseuds/MoxFirefly
Summary: Michelangelo doesn’t let anything bother him.That’s until he’s got a girl.And the dark realities of a crime infested city start to work on him.
Relationships: Michelangelo (TMNT)/Original Female Character(s), Michelangelo (TMNT)/Reader
Comments: 7
Kudos: 79





	The What If’s That Haunt Us

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote for the orange bean.
> 
> This was an interesting exercise I wanted to experiment with. Mikey dealing with some serious anxiety because boy loves too hard and doesn’t want to think about the dark side of life.
> 
> I hope y’all enjoy.
> 
> As always you and Mikey are in your early 20’s here

Michelangelo doesn’t let anything negative occupy his mind.

Water off his back mindset.

Head in the clouds Leo once said but why not live in the clouds? The _now_ can sometimes be so overbearing and frightful.

Mikey loves New York but he knows the toxicity that runs through the streets of his home. He sees it frequently while out on patrols, petty theft, gang activity, muggins, assaults...

The list goes on and the mere thought of it makes him nauseous. 

“Donnie’s got eyes on a robbery, possible Foot Clan activity” Leo’s voice comes rushing into his head and Mikey’s already popping off his board.

Mind over matter, yeah?

It’s a typical beat down. Good guys win. Bad guys lose. Mikey’s adrenaline is still coursing and he just wants to stuff his belly and hopefully see his girl.  
________________

Around midnight you hear the gentle tap at your window. Pulling back the curtain Mikey’s there with his bright smile holding up a bag of burgers and two slurpees.

“My my, I wasn’t aware ubereats sent its best driver tonight” You giggle while taking the food and beverages from him, watching him climb through the window. “Only the best for my girl, do I get a tip?” He’s sliding off his back pack and board when you stand on tip toes to capture his mouth in a slow kiss. 

This is it. The reason Mikey wants the streets to just calm down for once. For gangs to just stay in jail and creeps to loose their hands. He doesn’t want to tell you how he spends some nights not sleeping because the anxiety keeps him up. He doesn’t want to tell you that he’s followed you when you have late night shifts.

Mikey wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face in your neck. “Hey big guy, you ok? Tough night?” You can sense tension with how he holds you but he shakes his head against your neck. “Nah, it’s all good angel, kinda beat to be honest” He keeps his eyes away from yours as he moves towards your bed. 

You put on some music from your laptop as the two of you devoured the burgers. There was a sense of normalcy when you started showing him funny videos and memes, Mikey seemed more at ease as he slurped away on the orange crush slurpee. 

It’s around 4am when Mikey is back at the window, a solemn look on his face. He hated having to leave you but the sun was on its way up and he needed to make it back to the lair.

“You text me when you get home, you here me mister?” You smile and he chuckles. “Yes ma’am” He salutes but quickly wraps and arm around your waist and pulls you into a deep kiss. 

It’s a typical Mikey kiss but there’s such a longing behind it, deeply rooted in the way he sighs against your lips and reluctantly lets you go.

Somethings up but Mikey’s got his signature smile back on when he jumps from the fire escape and to the closest roof. You watch him disappear and wonder what’s swimming in his head, and seems to be causing such harsh torrents.

_________________

Mikey’s set up shop next to Donnie one afternoon, a duct taped Game Boy his brother tweaked out for him in hand. The two aimlessly talk about this and that. Donnie’s coding on one of the monitors while the third closest is running the news.

Mikey’s eyes are glued, the music from his game a repetitive afterthought. The news anchor sounds off the laundry list of crimes for the evening.

Just the evening.

It’s so much, all of it terrible. A few in regards to women being jumped, mugged and assaulted. Donnie looks over to him. “You stuck on level six? You gotta get the treasure chest- Mikey?” Donnie waves a hand in front of his little brothers face. “Uh, sorry, spaced out there brah” Mikey looks over the police scanner before he shuts off his game and digs out his phone.

His thumb hovers over the screen before he looks back up at his brother.

“You think Leo will blow a gasket if I sneak y/n in again?” There isn’t a playfulness in his tone like usual and Donnie picks up on it. “He wouldn’t be mad if you just tell him instead of all of us having to ‘walk in’ on a private moment” The click clack of the keyboard is rhythmic and Mikey often wonders how Donnie can type so much without having to look down.

“What’s got you so worried little brother?” Donnie switches to another monitor with surveillance. “Who says I’m worried?” Mikey flips through an array of pictures mostly consisting of y/n. He settles on one where she’s sleeping on his plastron.

She should always be there, he could keep safe if she was just with him right now.

“You’ve been awfully quiet as of late. Even Raphael notices, I think he misses you bothering the hell out of him” Donnie swivels around to land in front of his kid brother.

“I’m having nightmares, like bad ones” Mikey doesn’t look up from his phone but he can tell Donatello has that worried look on his face. “Again? Mikey why didn’t you tell dad or any of us?” Don rest his hand on top of Mikey’s head and pats him affectionately. “Cause... well cause...” He shakes his head and gets up, some of that hyper energy he’s known for returning.

Keep moving, just don’t sit and think.

“Mikey talk to me, come on” Donnie’s voice is that peaceful octave that he used to use whenever he read to him when they were kids.

Simpler times indeed.

“It’s crazy out there man, the crime wave has gone up so much like... I just can’t stop thinking about her being next!” He kicks a box with an assortment of parts and Donnie wants to scold him but he’s never seen Mikey like this.

“She works late man! Her campus is huge and she takes classes till late sometimes and she’s pretty dude! Some-some creep would so take a chance!” He’s pacing in the lab at this point and Donnie is convinced he might kick or punch whatever comes into his view. So he opts for getting up and grabbing Mikey by the shoulders.

“If you get stuck in these What If scenarios I can assure you Mikey, that you won’t ever know peace. We do our part, we do our best and I know that you do too” Donnie holds up a hand knowing full well Mikey wants to find a counter to his words.

“We’ll keep her safe, I promise. She’s family just like April and Casey” Donnie squeezes Mikey’s shoulders to reassure him.

Mikey feels some tension lift but all that runs through his brain is images of her.

Images of her that only fuel the nightmares.  
________________

You’re in the middle of finalizing a term paper when your phone _dings_ with a text notification. It’s from Mikey but it’s lacking the usual insane amount of emojis. It simply reads:

 _Window_.

Phone still in hand you walk over to said window and pull apart the curtain.

It’s an image you’re not sure that will be erased from your mind.

Mikey rest a hand on the window, he’s looks more than worse for wear but it’s the concerning amount of blood that makes you drop your phone and hastily push up the window.

“Oh my god Mikey what happened?! Are you ok?! Are you hurt?!” You half yank him in and start touching and feeling for wounds or gashes. There’s a few nicks and bruises here and there. There’s a sloppily put on bandage around his forearm and his usually bright orange mask has specs of dried blood on it.

“You should see the other guy babe, ‘is no biggie I swear” He swallows slowly as if the very act of taking down his own spit is too much. That odd aura is still around him, and there’s something ready to pour out of his gorgeous blue eyes.

“Mikey please tell me what’s wrong” You’re not asking about tonight particularly. He knows it also. For as naive as his brother like to paint him out to be, you know Mikey hides so much but his eyes always gave him away.

There’s hesitation written all over his dirty face and a slight tremble in his hands. You grab them, it always fascinated you, the contrast of your five digits against his three bulky ones. You soothe him as best as you possibly can via touch, it’s usually the go to way with him.

“There were these four jerks...messing around with a girl” He looks down at his shoes, scuffed and dirty and more specs of blood. Mikey swallows before he continues. “Raph heard her scream for help, we got there pretty fast but...” his hands grip hers because he’s all to aware of how they’ve started to shake.

“They were on top of her, she had-shit dude...she had your hair color and I just...” He shuts his eyes tightly and rest his head on your shoulder and without caring for the mess you pull him close and hold him. “I lost it y/n even when I saw it wasn’t you I just couldn’t stop thinking _if_ it had been you, I’m so fucking scared something bad will happen to you!” His voice vibrates against your neck and all you can try to do is soothe him. Rubbing the back of his head and holding him close.

“I can’t be with you all the time, I-I can’t even be with you out on the open with you! What if just what fucking if!” You lift his head from your shoulder and cup his cheeks. “Baby, you can’t keep living in what if’s, I know it’s scary out there even more so than usual but trust me, I feel safe knowing you’re out there” You run your thumb across the frustrated tears that have started to fall. “You’re scared, you’re worried and all of this is normal when you love somebody” His blue eyes meet your e/c ones, you hope you can transmit more through them than your words.

Mikey runs a forearm across his eyes and nods. “I’m sorry...” he wants to say more but you kiss him, soft but comforting. When you pull back some of the tension has dissipated from his body. “How about a shower? I’ve got some of your stuff here, I’m telling Leo you’re staying the night” It’s not a offer, it’s mandatory at this point with how mentally worn Mikey looks. Leo will just have to make do and accept.  
___________________

One hot shower and a change of clothes later, Mikey’s lying between your legs, face resting on your thigh. His fave spot he declares to sleep on when you yourself aren’t lying completely down. You run a soothing hand over his shell knowing just how he likes it.

You’ve managed subside the worry that has been plaguing his bright soul for so long. He sighs happily against your skin when he feels your hands run across his bicep, kneading the muscle expertly. Mikey smiles lazily enjoying the onslaught of physical affection.

“You ok?” You ask softly, fingers ghosting over a tattoo. He shivers slightly at the ticklish sensation. Mikey hums his confirmation and presses a kiss against your soft warm skin. Your fingers trace over some old scars on his arm, they trail down to the tattoo where you map it out. He’s churning softly, it’s the content version of it. 

“Promise me you’ll relax babe” You whisper softly, your other hand soothes his head. “Mm’try” He buries his snout in the plushness of your thigh. 

Then he gently nips the flesh and you smile.

You see the corner of his mouth lift and it’s like regular Mikey is back right there and then. Your hand grips his arm and the way the muscle clenches and unclenches makes you bite your lower lip. “What’s your strategy there big guy?” Your legs unconsciously spread a little more. Those plump lips of his kiss the flesh.

Mikey smirks against your skin.  
You grin right back at him.  
_______________ 

Since the first time he sank into you all those months ago, Mikey knew he was addicted. Just utterly and unashamedly hooked on it.

It was in true first time fashion that he didn’t last long but how could he? 

Your warmth, your taste, your wetness. The look in your eyes, the shape of your mouth, the feel of your skin. God he could go on and on, list everything from your eyelashes to the birthmarks here and there. Mikey has y/n memorized better than any song, movie or moment in his life.

He more than made up for it that night though, which left you breathless and shaking.

And right now that’s how he wanted you, _breathless and shaking_

His hands gripped your breast as you swayed on his lap. He loved you like this, dominating him, using him for your own pleasure. Your arms wrapped around his neck on a particular hard thrust that you delivered down to him. His hands sneaked away from your breast to wrap around your body and pull you so flush against his own.

If he could glue you to him, absorb you and let you nest within the confines of his soul he’d be a happy man. Mikey left a trail of sloppy kisses against the crook of your neck, letting you dictate the pace of your your love making. 

The chorus of _god, god, god_ and _Mikey, Mikey, Mikey_ have him moaning against your neck in desperation. You grab hold of his wrist and lift them up and against the wall of the bed. 

One thing that absolutely made him a stuttering churning mess: You dominating him.

You held his wrist there, forehead pressed against his own, mouths gasping and climaxes approaching. Mikey’s toes curled as your lips rested against his cheeks. “C’mon baby, cum for me baby boy” came your breathless demand. 

Mikey bit down on your shoulder as the first spurts left him, the feeling of his hot cum in your tight cunt making you reach your own release. He was weightless, humping upwards to bury himself as much as he could, not wanting to lose any of it before he could see one of his favorite images.

Your thighs felt like jelly and trembled but just for him you lifted upwards, letting his cock slip out slowly and allowing his cum to gush out once more onto his member. The debauched scene always made his dick stir. 

His arms were back around you, face buried in your hair. The two of you still shaking from the intensity.

He felt you say that you loved him.

Fuck, he loved you too, so very much.


End file.
